Rap Like Me

Too $hort, MC
 Rap like me, you'll go straight to the top
 Keep doing what you're doing and you're sure to get dropped
 Like a trick, nothing's even up my sleeve
 A million albums sold and it's hard to believe
 Well it's true homeboy, it's not a lie
 I used to sell tapes on sunnyside
 I used to catch the 40 bus around the way
 Me and Fred Benz, slanging tapes
 All these things, that we did
 Grab the microphone and start screaming "Bitch!"
 You fronting MC, i hate to cap
 You make hit records and you still can't rap
 I said it before, i'll say it again
 You don't believe me, ask your fans
 When i walked into cali, the place was packed
 Sir Too $hort "Don't stop that rap"
 I keep rapping my rhymes, all the time
 You got no rhymes, so you listen to mine
 I'm not starting a fight, just telling it right
 The best damn rapper who ever grabbed the mic
 His name is Too $hort, now shut your mouth
 In '81 i was rocking the house
 I'm a hustler, baby, coming up
 I hustle every day and i don't sell drugs
 I don't run no gangs, don't shoot no dice
 Gave the same damn speech to the oakland vice
 But if you keep pushing, just like you
 When they see me on the strip, coming through
 I break it down so vicious it'll break your back
 With the beat so loud playing Too $hort raps
 That's it, i'm set
 No need to talk that bullshit
 I need a, Oaktown, big time sound
 Just enough beat to get on down
 So, you other rappers listen to mine
 You wouldn't catch $hort Dog rapping nursery rhymes
 Call my rap trash, jam the junk
 Put a sticker on the cover "X-rated funk"
 It's just me, you say i won't go far
 But i won't stop rapping 'cause i rap so hard
 From here to new york, back to California (California)
 I bumped your girlfriend, don't say i didn't warn ya
 All this time you said she's your ho
 You really shouldn't give baby all that dough
 She gave it all to me 'cause i fuck so good
 I practice on the girls in my neighborhood
 'Cause when i'm freaky i rap, i spit a rap to a freak
 I rarely ever think about a sucker MC
 I go platinum, it's just like slapping 'em, bitch
 $hort Dog in the house, starting some shit
 MC's rock and MC's roll
 But the albums they make never go gold
 When i was young, i knew i'd be one of the best
 Every time i made a song it came out so fresh
 I was the king of the Oaktown, spitting my game
 10 years later, ain't nothing changed
 Still the boss of the bay, and i know what they say
 They call me "Godfather" and they call you "Gay"
 Bitch! it's 1990
 Your girlfriend's out there trying to find me
 She heard about me, i fucked her best friend
 I guess she wants to see if i can do it again
 You want to be like me, so damn bad
 The impossible dream all you MC's had
 If you could rap like me, you wouldn't have the dream
 Start rapping quit flapping like a chicken wing
 If could rap like me, they say you're so great
 But when they talk about you, they say you're so fake
 And as the days go by, you can't forget
 The way i make you feel like shit
 MC's like you, i've seen 'em before
 You keep on saying "fuck Too $hort"
 But i'm a better MC than you
 And ain't a damn thing you can do, but bitch
 On the TV screen, in the magazines
 When they interview you, you just make up things
 You're on an ego trip and you're fronting like you're down
 You're not the first real rapper from the Oakland Town
 You're just a new jack, and you can't even rap
 You wanna trip? Trip on that
 I'm like MC Lyte, checking hoes tonight
 If you're not a real rapper, get off the mic
 'Cause with a fake MC, a song's never complete
 You'd better learn to rap like me
 "Thought you want to be like (like, like), Too $hort"
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $hort"
 Whenever i rap, you call it noise
 I'm tearing up shit up like the acorn boys
 On 10th street, i got a big freak
 Until you learn to speak, realize you're weak
 'Cause it's the Oaktown, and they all get down
 To the rhythm of the too $hort funky sound
 It goes boom, baselines on ya
 Dangerous crew from Oakland, California
 Bitch don't front 'cause short dog is hard
 If you answer my rap, i tear your ass apart
 Just like this, it lasts forever
 You make a song and i make one better
 You say i cuss, i say you're fake
 Your eyes pop open like paper plates
 You fronting MC, i hate to cap
 I make hit records with the vicious raps
 I said it before, i'll say it again
 The boy ain't nothing but one of my fans
 Like silicon titties, can you feel 'em?
 How can a fake rapper fuck with a real one?
 Shit, i'm that rapping man
 I like you like the klu klux klan
 Motherfucker want to front on me?
 My posse got a real MC, Too $hort
 And it don't stop, and it don't stop, and it won't stop
 'Cause i'm Too $hort baby on the microphone and i'm macking, bitch
 ♪
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $hort"
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $hort"
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $hort"
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $hort"
 Now back to the subject, my boy MC
 Whatever you say, you can't rap like me
 Rappers like me make real hits
 Rappers like you talk bullshit
 I told my boys there's a new funky drummer in town
 You're trying to be like James Brown
 If i couldn't be me, who would i be?
 I damn sure wouldn't be a sucker MC
 'Cause i'm not like you, my game is true
 I pimped these hoes and i pimped you, too
 'Cause i'm boss, and boss makes the rules
 You disobey and you be a fool (now listen)
 One, remember how it all began
 Don't guess, the answer is "Oakland"
 Two, you'd better learn to rap like me
 Or you like to be a fake MC
 Three, never talk down on a player
 I wouldn't care if you was fred astaire
 Last but not least, number four
 Don't ever fuck with Too $hort, bitch
 "Thought you want to be like (like, like), Too $hort"
 "Thought you want to be like (like), Too $short"