The Laughing Policeman

I know a fat old policeman
 He's always on our street
 A fat and jolly red-faced man
 He really is a treat
 He's too kind for a policeman
 He's never known to frown
 And everybody says he is the
 Happiest man in town!
 Oh, ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 Ooh-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Ooh ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 Ooh ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 ♪
 He laughs upon point duty
 He laughs upon his beat
 He laughs at everybody when he's
 Walking in the street
 He never can stop laughing
 He says he's never tried
 But once he did arrest a man
 And laughed until he cried!
 Oh ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Oh ho-ho-ho, ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 ♪
 His jolly face is wrinkled
 And then he shut his eyes
 He opened his great mouth
 It was a wonderous size
 He said, "I must arrest you"
 He didn't know what for
 And then he started laughing
 Until he cracked his jaw!
 Oh ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha, ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha!
 Oh ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 ♪
 So, if you chance to meet him
 When walking 'round the town
 Just shake him by his fat old hand
 And give him half a crown
 His eyes will beam and sparkle
 He'll gurgle with delight
 And then you'll start him laughing
 With all his blessed might!
 Oh ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Ooh! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha-ha ha-ha!
 Ooh ha-ha, ooh ha! Ha-ha-ha ha-ha!