Jobs I Had Before I Got Rich & Famous

Mowing lawns, saving up for a guitar
 When I was fifteen, and long and lean
 And just like that grass, boy, I was green
 Delivering roses in Washington D.C.
 Going off to college, so I had to save up
 But delivering roses really sucks
 Sweating all summer in a slimy tux
 But at least I made a couple bucks
 Freshman in college, I was delivering pizza
 But to deliver one pie, half an hour round trip
 And college kids, man, they don't tip
 And so I quit
 It was their loss
 'Cos I was the only driver not stealing from the boss
 Siphoning gas from students' cars
 Metropolitan Museum at the telephone switchboard
 When a caller would ask for Phillip de Montebello
 I'd transfer to my apartment, where an unsespecting fellow
 My roommate Stuart, who was sound asleep
 Would answer the phone when he heard the beep
 And pretty quickly they'd realise that he wasn't Phillip
 Information counter at the Cloiser's Museum
 And one day, Billy Joel walks in
 I take a long, long look at him
 A dignified old music man
 That's when I devised my plan
 That little plan has bought me here
 Where the spotlights shine and the people all cheer
 And the pretty girls flock from far and near
 To touch my hand, and hear my songs
 And buy my t-shirts, and sing along
 God damn, this sure beats mowing lawns