Wig Master

You said, "I will build you a bed of cactus where you can sleep when the night is too sharp"
 I said, "I will cover you with wax and light your hair like a wick when the night is too cold"
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 You don't think of me as often as I'd like you to
 But when you do, it's of me looking for you on the ship
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 The plane I am waiting on has your face printed on the wings
 When it crashes, I'll eat the paint off
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 I'm gonna spank your ass so hard you'll hate the Wig Master
 But I'll put two pillows on your dining room chair
 You're like a parrot, something that belongs to me and not to you
 Loneliness isn't being alone
 It's when someone loves you, and you don't have it in you to love them back
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 Look at my hair, it's a dirty little mop crying for you to send it away
 All a guy needs is a chance to pull off my clothes and snicker, "Try harder"
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 If you mail me a toy, I'll use it, but that's the most I have to offer
 "Do you want to see my panties?" is the last thing I'll ever say to you
 "I want to finger every teenager I see" is the last thing you say to me
 Don't make fun of my night out