Sober Thoughts

Discipline in my habits
 Went distant on my attachments
 I had to turn my presence to absence
 Stuck in the cage
 Questioning the hours and days...
 Depression-al phase
 My tunnel vision starting to fade
 I started to marry my thoughts, already engaged
 Not knowing my next move had me going insane
 Depending on alcohol to get me over the pain
 Praying my habit don't ever have me turn to cocaine
 I won't allow this temporary pain to turn into a stain
 I wanna live but my joy for life is stuck in the grave
 God, I need you more than ever, I was hoping you came
 So used to holding shit in, it's kinda hard to explain
 Picasso, the best way to put it
 Before you knew the meaning of it, you misunderstood it
 Far from perfect, did a lot of shit I knew I shouldn't
 Ducking my demons but they coming like a moving bullet
 Shit is crazy out here
 It's like I love it and I hate it out here
 Gotta be mentally stable out here
 Just to make it out here
 Never slippin'
 Every day I'm aware
 If I ain't got it, I go get it
 And I make it appear
 Tough love being assertive
 That's the way that I care
 When I'm distant and I ignore you
 Then to me you ain't there
 When I erase you that's when you worry
 Replace yo ass in a hurry
 That's the truth not a dare, nigga
 Do not compare
 All this pain in me
 I want it washed away
 I gotta keep faith in me
 These niggas want me dead
 I gotta stay strong
 Stay strong
 I've been fighting all my life
 Whoa
 May God watch my soul
 Only people that think that I fell off
 Is the people that wasn't supportin, before the fame and the fortune
 My fanbase was already a force and
 I was selling out shows before the radio sources
 Meaning the grinding and the independence what got me in it
 Not a cosign or a mention and this is not fiction
 Now I'm feeling attention from muhfuckers that once was dick lickin'
 And pic flicking, friendshipping
 This isn't no damn fool, I know the game so it's cool
 And when you play the game, play by the rules
 Momma ain't raised no coon,
 I know the difference between loved and used
 Life is just hugs and bruises, care and crew
 Fuck desire, my heart pump fire, ooh
 Don't inhale my fumes, I'm toxic, caged in like zoos
 Boxed in like boxing, in the studio, locked in
 And you couldn't walk a block in my shoes
 Not even my socks, shit
 I came from the bottom, that's why I fuck with top shit
 I'm talking about the never, ever, ever in stock shit
 I don't pop shit, I speak knowledge so call me a prophet
 And if you pay attention then you paying homage
 Cheap jeans with paid pockets
 This pound cake got these weight watchers, weight watchin'
 I ain't stopping like Hov said
 Sit in front of the Bentley with the doors out like bow legs
 I hate a bitch with a fat ass and no legs
 I love a bitch with some crack pussy and dope head
 Broke bread with niggas, all I got was a thank you
 And you got some other niggas out here saying they made you
 The game trying to erase you
 Got my foot on they necks, you disrespect the TEC'll give you a facial
 Apologies to my ex's and no this ain't my confessions
 Appreciate your time and investment, patience and effort
 Having ya'll was part of a blessing
 Ya'll all belong on the cover of essence
 No hard feelings, no love lost, no bad blood
 Yeah, love is a bad drug but better to have love than no love
 I need a blunt, KorLeone can you roll one?
 And smoke one
 All this pain in me
 I want it washed away
 I gotta keep faith in me
 These niggas want me dead
 I gotta stay strong
 Stay strong
 I've been fighting all my life
 Whoa
 May God watch my soul