Woe Is Me

I'd just like to take one moment to thank my two fathers,
 Who've been so supportive of me in all of my endeavors
 Thanks, dads!
 We hate losers (No one likes a loser)
 Which is why we discipline
 God hates losers...
 (But He loves you)
 ...because losers do not know how to
 Win
 And we have faith in you, honey
 Yes, we do, yes, we do
 Go get 'em!
 I hope you can love me, America
 I'm gunning for first prize!
 Here's why you should love me, America
 My needs I cannot overemphasize
 I make myself crazy
 Being what my dads hope I'll be
 But what about me dads?
 What about me?
 Jesus Christ!
 What about me?
 Practice your breathing, Logainne
 Though I practice yoga, I don't breathe
 I try not to disappoint
 But still I
 Disappoint the dads who my friends mock
 Kids are mean
 Kids'll talk
 All my so-called friends roll their eyes
 They're incredibly petty
 Because my dads are my dads and alright enough already!
 Woe is me
 Woe is me
 Which is why I gotta win this spelling bee
 Take a picture for her BM
 Don't call her BM, Carl! (Dad!)
 Sorry, her birthmother
 Peggy Jenkins!
 Who'd be very proud if she could see you spell!
 My birthmother lives in Kansas, MO
 In a trailer, in a park.
 Tornadoes
 Every now and then she sends a card:
 "Life, and men" she writes, "are hard"
 She would like to meet me when I'm grown and I burst like a comet!
 But I'm so stressed by my stress, I just wanna up and vomit
 Woe is me
 Woe is me
 Which is why I gotta win this spelling-
 Be smart, be cool, be an adult
 Be remarkably adroit in social situations
 Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be cool)
 Woe is me (Be smart, be cool, be smart, be)
 Why is why I gotta win this
 (Which is why she's gotta win this)
 Spelling
 Bee!
 Bee!
 Bee!