On The Open Road

Do ya need a break from modern livin'?
 Do ya long to shed your weary load?
 If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried
 Just grab a friend and take a ride
 Together upon the open road (come on, Maxie, ah-yuck)
 All in all, I'd rather have detention
 All in all, I'd rather eat a toad (yuck)
 And the old man drives like such a klutz
 That I'm about to hurl my guts
 Directly upon the open road
 There's nothin' can upset me
 'Cause now we're on our way
 Our trusty map will guide us straight and true
 Roxanne, please don't forget me
 I will return someday
 Though I may be in traction when I do
 Me and Max relaxin' like the old days (this is worse)
 (Than dragon breath and acne) in a buddy-buddy
 Kind of mode (I'm so mad)
 (I think I may explode) when I see that highway, I could cry
 Ya know, that's funny, so could I
 Just bein' out on the open road
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 Howdy, boys, is this the way to Nashville?
 Watch it, Mac, or you'll be gettin' towed!
 I'm in no hurry to arrive
 'Cause I'll be turnin' 65
 The next time I seize the open road
 Just a week of rest and relaxation (yeah)
 And the odd romantic episode (very odd)
 Ha ha, and it's Californ-I-A or bust
 Look out, you dirtbags, eat my dust
 From now on, I own the open road
 It's me and little Maxie
 My pipsqueak pioneer
 They're partners forever westward ho, yee-haw
 Could someone call a taxi
 And get me outta here
 To Beverly Hills 90210
 Oh, every day, another new adventure
 Every mile, another new zip code
 And the cares we had are gone for good
 And I'd go with them if I could
 I've got no strings on me
 I'm feelin' fancy-free
 How wonderful to be
 On the open road