I Hate Halloween

"Bats join the witches
 They fly across the moon
 Organs blare and raise your hair
 Shrieking evil doom
 Cats crawl into pumpkins
 They're in for quite a scare
 Because they did not know
 That a ghost was living there
 Spoil the fun of Halloween"
 I love the leathered touch
 Of the good book that I clutch
 Between god-fearing trembling hands
 I'm sworn to scour this Christian land
 Of commies, queers and heathen scum
 Jews and blacks, and lesbians
 They signed in blood, the Devil's contract
 And partake in sinful acts, because...
 I hate Halloween
 Makes me want to scream
 Through my window I often stare
 At all the evil in the world out there
 I'm the judge and jury of other's lives
 With a glare of sharpened knives
 Paranoia of the pagan rite
 And evil jack-o-lanterns all alight
 Brainwashed kids, in masquerade
 The Devil leads this black parade
 I hate Halloween
 The damned souls blaspheme
 And my bell it keeps on ringing
 And the kids they keep on singing
 That damned trick or treating song
 Shut up! Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
 And now my head is really spinning
 And my stomach it feels so sickening
 But I've got something for them in store
 When they come knocking at my front door
 Like the witches cat
 My mind just fades to black
 Hand reaches for the knife
 Gonna carve em' like they're lantern-jacks
 I'll teach those brats a lesson
 For incessant doorbell toll
 Envision children writhing
 In plastic costumes dripping with gore
 This will be the last time
 I get ding-dong ditched
 But as I swing open the door
 There stands a slimy witch