Uhauls & Ryders

All around the city they are coming in their U-Hauls and their Ryders
 They pack their fragile items in old love letters and move in right beside us
 This place was a mistake, she looks to next September
 He thought it was a quake but it only was a tremor
 And now their hearts will break 'cause I went and lost my temper
 And I'd like to say I'm sorry
 All around the world the brides have registered from Brooklyn Heights to Moscow
 All around this town your friends are telling me that I'm much better off now
 I have done your bidding to your specifications
 I made you a gift of the remainder of my patience
 Only to be told that I was too complacent
 And I'd like to say I'm sorry
 But everything I try hurts
 Everything I try hurts
 Everything I try hurts
 New York, Boston
 I thought it would be easy once you had the grace to give me your number
 Your folks, my folks
 Every other Christmas but we never even made it through summer
 This is too hard, I don't know how to do this
 It's really such a shame you've devised all the excuses
 Because as couples go we were just about the cutest
 So aren't you even sorry?
 I have burned all your pots and pans
 I have over-watered all your plants
 I have wept all over this romance
 And I'd like to say I'm sorry
 But everything I try hurts
 Everything I try hurts
 Everything I try hurts
 (New York, Boston)