It's a Hit!

Listen to that
 Will you listen to that?
 Do you know what that means
 Let me tell you what that means
 Wait, no
 Anyone who even thinks it
 Don't say it, you'll jinx it
 Listen to that!
 Did you listen to that?
 Does that make you feel proud?
 Well, feel more than just proud
 Okay, wait
 I'll tempt fate
 And I'll state it out loud
 That's the sound of a hit
 It's a hit
 Gang, I think this is it
 No more writing clever little shows
 For those basement saloons
 No more proclamations from the pros
 That you can't hum the tune
 No more sneaking in at intermissions
 To the place you wish you could afford
 Or producers having you audition
 Whenever they're bored
 And who'll say right away
 As you play the first chord:
 Boys, boys
 It's very... what is the word?
 Interesting
 And if I had even the slightest belief
 Any audiences would come
 I would do it in a minute
 Next!
 We're a hit!
 We're a hit!
 You're ahead
 You should quit
 No more coaching no sopranos
 With voices like bees
 No more second hand pianos
 With six broken keys
 No more agents giving you opinions
 As they turn you over to their minions
 Just for these guarantees
 We should please thank the Lord
 It's a hit!
 It's a hit!
 Will my folks have a fit?
 After all of that baloney they made me go through
 All that: Honey, not that he's a phony
 But what does he do?
 Will their faces be stony
 When they see on their Sony
 Someone handing the phony
 The Tony Award!
 I would like to begin
 By thanking all the hundreds of people
 Who have turn down
 Every show that I have ever written
 So that I could win tonight for this one!
 Thank you
 Listen to that
 Will you listen to that
 Tell me is that a noise?
 Or is that a noise?
 That is the noise
 I've been waiting the whole of my life to hear
 Listen to that (listen to that)
 Did you listen to that? (Will you listen to that)
 Honey, is that a noise or is that a noise? (I can't-)
 That is the loveliest noise (stand it)
 For a breadwinning wife to hear
 Listen to that!
 That's obscene! (Listen to that)
 Fellas that is a noise
 That is really a noise (I can't stand it!)
 I can't stand it! (I can't stand it!)
 Did you listen to that? (Will you listen to that?)
 That's the sound of an audience
 Losing it's mind
 It's the Pope on his balcony
 Blessing mankind
 Folks!
 It's Funny girl
 Fiddler
 And Dolly combined
 It's a hit
 It's a hit
 It's a palpable hit
 If it only even runs a minute
 At least it's a wedge
 It's the theatre and we're really in it
 Not just on the edge
 If your spirits ever need improving
 You can drop in any night for free
 But the thing that's positively moving
 You could have fooled me
 Is we're still old friends
 Nothing can kill old friends
 Where there's a will
 Old friends don't need success to survive
 And us old friends
 What's to discuss, old friends?
 We've got a surefire
 Genuine
 Walkaway
 Blockbuster
 Lines down to Broadway
 Boffola
 Sensational
 Box office
 Lalapalooza
 Gargantuan
 Hit!
 It's a hit!
 It's a hit!
 It's a hit!
 It's a hit!
 It's a hit!