Derogatory Embrace

I miss us doubting our lives
 Equally cynical
 Equally messed up in a variety of ways
 I miss my self destruction it's the only thing that suited me
 Rarely on the ground
 You never hated me enough
 I'd take my dreams back
 Anyway
 We're so young so naive
 They say "be kind towards yourself"
 But how can I be kind to someone who's treated me so badly
 I'm stuck with feeling like I've met everyone worth meeting
 Worth my time
 To touch
 To fall for again
 I'd like our first summer back
 Anyway
 We're so young so naive
 We never mattered
 We were never an if
 We were only a when
 We were never an if
 And I dreaded our when
 I'd take my dreams back
 Anyway
 We were so young so naive
 We were never an if
 We were only a when
 We were never an if
 So when?