Real Bad Lookin'

I am the drunkest, ugliest girl at the bar
 
 Oh well I'm scheming, and I'm scheming,
 And I'm scheming, and I'm gonna go far
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 All the boys, yeah they think I'm a star
 Because I'm drinking, and I'm drinking,
 And I'm drinking, yeah I go pretty hard
 I get a pinch on my ass, when I lean on the sill
 
 And then I bent it, and I bent it,
 And I bent it but not to pick up the bill
 
 My husband's at work, my baby's in a Daewoo sauna
 I hold my breath when I check, just to see that she isn't a goner
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 The little dream sits there, she's like a fly in a jar
 Yeah who the hell are they to tell
 Me that I can't leave my kid in the car
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 I am the goddamn drunkest, ugliest girl at the bar
 
 Yeah who the hell are you to tell me
 That I can't leave my kid in the car
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 Yeah who the hell are you to tell me
 That I can't leave my kid in the car
 Yeah who the hell are you to tell me
 That I can't leave my kid in the car
 ♪
 I am the dumbest, richest guy at the bar
 Yeah, well I'd take you for a ride but my girl took the keys to my car
 
 I made a deal over lunch baby, yeah it was worth 15k
 
 I show my teeth when I smile in a real matter-of-fact way
 
 I make so much money, I swear I never get any older
 And I don't talk to my brother cause
 That prick's got a chip on his shoulder
 Oh yeah I'm feelin' real good, how much for one of those cigars?
 I want to breathe like a dragon baby, I cough up burning hot tar
 
 Hey look, I'm cold outta cash, just put it all on my card
 Hey, wait but you can't cut it up, my credit rating is five stars
 Oh well this place is a joke, yeah who do you think you are
 You're talking to the goddamn dumbest, richest guy at the bar