One Hippopotami (The Hippopotamus Song)

One hippopotami cannot get on a bus
 Because one hippopotami is two hippopotamus
 And if you have two goose, that makes one geese
 A pair of mouse is mice. A pair of moose is meese
 A paranoia is a bunch of mental blocks
 And when Ben Casey meets Kildaire, that's called a paradox
 When two minks fall in love, with all their heart and soul
 You'll find the plural of two minks is one mink stole
 Singulars and plurals are so different, bless my soul
 Has it ever occurred to you that the plural of "half" is "whole"?
 A bunch of tooth is teeth. A group of foot is feet
 And two canaries make a pair--they call it a parakeet
 A paramecium is not a pair
 A parallelogram is just a crazy square
 Nobody knows just what a paraphernalia is
 And what is half a pair of scissors, but a single sciz?
 With someone you adore, if you should find romance
 You'll pant, and pant once more, and that's a pair of pants!