The Mistress

hello it's me the mistress
 is there anybody home?
 cuz the last place I should be is sittin' here alone
 all I ask for is forgiveness
 if you've got some give it here
 you don't act much like you need it
 you don't look much like you care
 and will you need me in the summer?
 will you need me in the spring?
 I believe my life is ending I don't know where to begin
 I've got a page in my back pocket of the seven deadly sins
 and its dragging me around among the needles and the pins
 and I dont need to take a breather
 I'm on the outside looking out
 yeah, I don't need to see your papers
 cuz I know what you're about
 you had me by the bible and you had me by the belt
 and you had me from the instant my cold love began to melt
 and then you praise me for my inspiration
 asked me for an explanation
 followed up with hesitation
 fit my primal expectation
 I don't care but I don't mind
 you can call me any time
 you can holler through the fortress
 and kick me out of line
 I don't expect it from the grief that gathers in my head
 I like suspended disbelief
 I like to spend the day in bed
 I like to spend the nights in heaven
 hanging with the dead
 you know, Judas and his women and the voices in my head
 I've got my eyes upon the mirror
 I've got my hands up in the air
 I confess to my distress yeah, I great crazier each year
 you know I'd change it if I could you know I like to say that I would
 but there's a war between the parts of me
 the evil and the good
 and you try and stop me i'm on fire
 it doesn't look that way
 you know, I used to be a liar
 but living's set me straight
 I don't come with no disclaimer I'm like everybody else
 we keep our demons on the burner and our morals on the shelf
 and nobody asks for my opinion because you dont want to hear
 I swear I'm only human wishing I could disappear
 and you must think its an illusion that I like to live in fear
 of a probable solution of why the devil put me here
 and now no judgement call will kill me
 just makes me close my eyes
 and I sink into the slumber to the prison of my mind
 where I'd love to introduce you
 if you found a way inside
 you could sell me retribution and totally demystify
 until i wonder how I got here
 until I don't know who to be
 is it better to be grounded?
 is it better to be free?
 am I better off without you?
 am I happier alone?
 hello, its me the mistress, could you please pick up the phone?