Brave New Christmas

Put down those hammers put down those saws
 You ain't working no more for Santa Claus
 Turn in the bells, grab a pink slip
 You elves have replaced by a microchip
 Frosty the Snowman – you've been outsourced
 No more meltdowns on our workforce
 Additionally these layoffs shall include the Sugar Plum Fairy
 And that Nutcracker Dude
 Christmas has a brand new CEO
 And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
 A new holiday for a brand new century
 We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
 A total restructure began today of this much overrated holiday
 Downsize, streamline experts say that Christmas ain't nothing but a dead giveaway
 For homeland chimney security, Santa's been taken into custody
 In the race to the bottom you are taking a lead
 There is no holiday for corporate greed
 Power bills rising clean out of sight –
 Got to euthanize that reindeer with the bright red light
 Unplug the manger unplug the tree – we're switching to fluorescents and LEDs
 Furthermore, our studies did conclude that factories aren't suited to this latitude
 To fight the cost of heating in so much snow we're moving these jobs to Mexico
 Christmas has a brand new CEO
 And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
 Oh it's a new holiday for a brand new century
 We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
 By leveraging technology we can redeliver Christmas virtually
 Let them baste virtual butterballs, with virtually no cholesterol
 We'll sell virtual presents in virtual malls with no overhead expense at all
 They can virtually decorate their virtual halls with virtual boughs and virtual balls
 Christmas has a brand new CEO
 And the business plan don't include any ho-ho-ho
 Oh it's a new holiday for a brand new century
 We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently
 We're gonna repackage Christmas & make it work efficiently