I Ran Away

I remember back when I was still in school
 These bullies always picked on me, they called me a fool
 They knocked me on the ground!
 They rubbed dog poop in my ears!
 They kicked me, they punched me
 They said, "Come and fight you wimp!"
 (What'd you do??!!)
 I faked I had an injury then I ran away
 I ran away, I ran away
 Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
 The children always laughed at me after that day
 When I said I tore my ACL and I ran away
 I was playing one day in my backyard
 When I made the perfect snowball, round and smooth and hard
 I spotted nasty Ted Jablonski!
 I let fly the perfect snowball!
 It smashed the neighbour's windshield!
 He came out and said, "Who the hell did that?!"
 (What'd you do??!!)
 I pointed at my sister and then I ran away
 I ran away, I ran away
 Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
 My sister was grounded for three years and a day
 So I said she was adopted and then I ran away
 I was walking with my girlfriend one night
 Two guys were sitting on a bench, they pointed at her and said
 "She's a fat, ugly tramp!"
 "She smells like peanut butter!"
 "She's a loser!"
 "She's pedantic!"
 "She's a mediocre soccer player!"
 My girlfriend said, "Make them stop!"
 (What'd you do??!!)
 I dumped my girlfriend on the spot then I ran away
 I ran away, I ran away
 Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
 The honour of my woman was on the line that day
 So I told my girlfriend I was gay and I ran away
 I was walking by myself last week
 When the devil himself appeared in front of me
 He had fire all around him!
 He smelled like a burning tire dump!
 He opened his mouth, he pointed at me and he said
 "Mike, you're next!"
 (What'd you do??!!)
 I came up to the devil!
 I poked the devil on the shoulder!
 I said, "Look over there," and then I ran away
 I ran away, I ran away
 Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
 I'm hoping that the devil smokes two packs a day
 'Cause my day of reckoning is here and I ran away
 I ran away, I ran away
 Danger stared me in the face and I ran away
 Whenever I was challenged I collapsed like a souffle
 But I'm still alive to sing this song 'cause I ran away
 Oh yes I ran
 (oh yes he ran)
 Oh yes I ran
 (oh yes he ran)
 Oh yes I ran
 (oh yes he ran)
 Oh yes I ran
 I ran away!