50 Cent Grapefruit Story

I used to uh, I used to kid Harris for being chubby.
 He's actually not that chubby.
 He had a growth spurt, he streched out.
 He's fine.
 But...
 A few months ago I was actually worried that I was getting
 chubby.
 I saw a photo of me, on the internet, and in the comments, someone wrote;
 WHOAH!
 Who ate aziz ansari?
 Whitch, hold on, doesn't make any sense.
 If someone ate me they wouldn't assume my form
 all of a sudden.
 Why do you look like that g-?
 I JUST ATE HIM!
 But the person was right, I gained twelve pounds.
 So i started exerciseing at the gym,
 lost the whight right away.
 But I didn't always like the stuff the people in the gym would tell me.
 They would say things like, "
 Hey, Aziz, 'you see this new study on yahoo's?
 Says any food you eat after eleven '
 O clock goes straight to your belly.
 You should cut out those late night snacks." and I would always wanna say, "
 Oh, really?
 There's this other study I heard about, that says, uh, if you have a lot of alcohol in your system, and you eat a casidilla at three in the morning,
 its delicious.
 Yeah!
 I did that study.
 Last night.
 Twice.
 But I love food.
 I love going out to eat at resturants and stuff.
 It's really something I like a lot.
 I was eating at one of my favorite resturants, in New York, not too long ago, and I was having dinner with a friend.
 He's like, "
 Aziz, what 'a you been up to?" and I said, "
 SHUT UP!
 50 Cent is sitting over there and I need to hear everything he says." and 50 Cent did not dissapoint.
 50 Cent, the rapper, ordered a grapefruit soda.
 The waiter brings him a grapefruit soda, and then 50 Cent said the greatest thing anyone could ever say, when they see a grapefruit soda.
 He looks at the waiter and he goes,
 Why isn't this purple?"
 and it took me a few seconds, and then I realised,
 OH MY GOD 50 CENT HAS NO IDEA WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS!
 EXCUSE ME!
 EVERYBODY IN THE RESTURANT, SHUT UP!
 A WAITER IS ABOUT TO EXPLAIN TO A GROWN MAN WHAT A GRAPEFRUIT IS!
 Do you realise how amazing this is?
 There are parents that aren't there when thier children learns what a grapefruit is,
 I AM THERE FOR THAT MOMENT IN RAPPER 50 CENT'
 S LIFE!
 This guy leaves the resturant, he's gonna know about a new fruit!
 And the exchange was just glorious.
 The waiter, struggling to explain the concept of a grapefruit to a man that just didn't get it.
 He's like, "
 No.
 You don't understand, they're two different things.
 Grape.
 Grapefruit.
 Grape.
 Grapefruit."
 I know grapes are fruits.
 Why do you keep saying it like that?" "
 No.
 It's just one word, grapefruit, you know it's just one, its a different..." "
 I get it, grape, fruit.
 Orange, fruit.
 Carrot, vegetable." "
 No.
 That's not it at all."
 And it just blew my mind, how does 50 Cent not know what a grapefruit is?
 This guy has been rich for soo loong.
 He has to run into a grapefruit every now and then.
 I do okay, I see grapefruits every fucking day!
 What happens when he sees a grapefruit?
 Is he just like, "
 What's up with those oranges?
 They're all red and shit!
 And they're big as fuck!
 dude they're looking at me wierd!
 Shoot those-!