Pretend You Love Me

I was just a kid but I learned much too fast
 Found the internet way too young a scar that would last
 And you know that I hate thinking someone else did this to me
 But I had all the resources because of your enabling
 And sometimes I wonder if I didn't hurt so bad
 Would I have been more lovable to my mom and my dad
 And if I went back in time to see six year old me
 Id say this shit does not get better this is who you're meant to be and
 I am a monster so you say
 I do this on purpose anyway
 I need to feel this pain so I can
 I try to crawl away when you say my name
 Hold me down and scream at me
 You say this is where I deserve to be
 So keep pretending that you love me
 I'll believe you although you never show it to me
 "Wow you're such a quiet kid" they all would say to me
 Don't call me an old soul when I'm just unhappy
 You treated me like an adult when I was still so young
 You ask what you did wrong but you fucking knew it all along
 I know that I was difficult or I knew that's how you felt
 I was told that I was selfish when I needed fucking help
 I remember when I lied to you I ran away and hid
 You didn't have to hurt me I was just a little kid
 I was just a little kid
 And now I'm still a little kid and
 I am a monster so you say
 I do this on purpose anyway
 I need to feel this pain so I can
 I try to crawl away when you say my name
 Hold me down and scream at me
 You say this is where I deserve to be
 So keep pretending that you love me
 And I'll believe you I'll believe you
 I am a monster so you say
 I do this on purpose anyway
 I need to feel this pain so I can
 I try to crawl away when you say my name
 Hold me down and scream at me
 You say this is where I deserve to be
 So keep pretending that you love me
 And I'll believe you but you never show it to me