The Phatom

Oh the phantom comes at night
 And he comes without a light
 Leaving all the local constables perplexed
 If you live in Chestertown
 Then you'd better hunker down
 'Cause you never know where he'll be striking next
 In a peaceful little village in Vermont
 Just the kinda place you'd like to raise your kids
 When those burglaries began
 Not a woman
 Not a man
 Could believe such things could happen
 But they did
 Every merchant
 Every businessman in town
 Came to live in fear of heading home at night
 All the padlocks, bars, and chains
 Only added to the game
 But a challenge was the phantom's chief delight
 Soon a wave of panic swept across the town
 For the seeds of suspicion had been sown
 And the good folks down in Chester had to wonder
 If the criminal could be one of their own
 Oh the phantom comes at night
 And he comes without a light
 Leaving all the local constables perplexed
 If you live in Chestertown
 Then you'd better hunker down
 'Cause you never know where he'll be striking next
 Clarence Adams was a deacon in the church
 And the number one selectman in the town
 So the folks all felt relieved
 When he told them
 "I believe I'm the man that's gonna track that villain down"
 For he'd studied every case of Sherlock Holmes
 Every crime of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde
 Though he did all he could do
 Followed up on every clue
 Seems the burglar just got bolder every night
 Then one evening from a window at the mill
 Shotgun blasts resounded o'er the land
 And a booby trap had finally nailed the phantom
 Well you guessed it, Clarence Adams was the man
 Clarence Adams staggered home and then collapsed
 And the doctors found his legs a bloody mess
 When they searched the house and woods
 Found them full of stolen goods
 Poor old Clarence had no choice but to confess
 So the phantom-burglar mystery had been solved
 But the locals found it hard to understand
 How a leader in the town
 The most respected man around
 Turned out to be the state's most wanted man
 You might think he'd be remorseful or contrite
 But the jury heard his voice swell up with pride
 "Just like my all-time hero Dr. Jekyl,
 I've nourished both my good and evil side"
 Oh the phantom comes at night
 And he comes without a light
 Leaving all the local constables perplexed
 If you live in Chestertown
 Then you'd better hunker down
 'Cause you never know where he'll be striking next