Right Said Fred

"Right," said Fred, "Both of us together
 One each end and steady as we go."
 Tried to shift it, couldn't even lift it
 We was getting nowhere
 And so we had a cuppa tea and
 "Right," said Fred, "Give a shout for Charlie."
 Up comes Charlie from the floor below
 After strainin', heavin' and complainin'
 We was getting nowhere
 And so we had a cuppa tea
 And Charlie had a think, and he thought we ought to take off all the handles
 And the things wot held the candles
 But it did no good, well I never thought it would
 "All right," said Fred, "Have to take the feet off
 To get them feet off wouldn't take a mo"
 Took its feet off, even took the seat off
 Should have got us somewhere but no!
 So Fred said, "Let's have another cuppa tea"
 And we said, "right-o."
 
 "Alright," said Fred, "Have to take the door off
 Need more space to shift the so-and-so."
 Had bad twinges taking off the hinges
 And it got us nowhere
 And so we had a cuppa tea and
 "Right," said Fred, "Have to take the wall down
 That there wall is gonna have to go."
 Took the wall down, even with it all down
 We was getting nowhere
 And so we had a cuppa tea
 And Charlie had a think, and he said, "Look, Fred
 I've got a sort of feelin'
 If we remove the ceiling
 With a rope or two we could drop the blighter through."
 "All right," said Fred, climbing up a ladder
 With his crowbar gave a mighty blow
 Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble landed on the top of his dome
 So Charlie and me had another cuppa tea
 And then we went home
 I said to Charlie, "We'll just have to leave it
 Standing on the landing, that's all
 You see the trouble with Fred is, he's too hasty
 You'll never get nowhere if you're too hasty."