The Cold Hard Facts of Life

I got back in town a day before I'd planned to
 I smiled and said I'll sure surprise my wife
 I don't think I'll phone, I'll just head on home
 For I didn't know the cold hard facts of life
 I passed a little wine store on the corner
 I pictured pink champagne by candle light
 I stopped the car right then, got out and hurried in
 My mind not on the cold hard facts of life
 A stranger stood there laughing by the counter
 He said I'll take two bottles of your best
 Her husband's out of town and there's a party
 He winked as if to say you know the rest
 I left the store two steps behind the stranger
 From there to my house his car stayed in sight
 But it wasn't till he turned into my drive I learned
 I was witnessing the cold hard facts of life
 I drove around the block till I was dizzy
 Each time the noise came louder from within
 And then I saw our bottle there beside me
 And I drank a fifth of courage and walked in
 Oh, you should have seen their frantic faces
 They screamed and cried please put away that knife
 I guess I'll go to hell or rot here in the cell
 But who told who the cold hard facts of life?
 Who told who the cold hard facts of life?