Trainhop Story Rag

Well I was sitting in a hobo jungle
 When I heard some old heads telling their tales
 'Bout the glory days 'n' the things they've done
 While riding on the fearsome rails
 And the stories they told were the kind of tales
 That ain't never gonna leave my head
 One after another with their spirits high
 You wouldn't believe what they said
 Well I did back flips in the middle of a hurricane
 While riding on an oil tank
 Rode a junker train into an army complex
 And rode out with the corporal rank
 And while ridin' through the Santa Fe tunnel in an open box car, wrestled me a bear
 Jugglin' chainsaws on that FEC, while breathin' the Florida air
 So I drank me another, 'n' I leaned in closer as the stories started heatin' up
 But I dared not sit with these big dogs still
 For I was but a rail road pup
 And the stories got swift and crazy
 As the men got fire in their eyes
 And the stories they told from this point on
 Will lay aim to their demise
 Well I fought off 15 bulls in the Baldwin yard with my hands tied behind my back
 Caught a train on the fly goin' 45
 With 38 40s in my pack
 Made up a pot of noodles in a unit unseen
 While the engineer was there
 And by the way I held back on that story there
 I was wrestlin' 15 bears
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 So if you hop trains kid
 And you think you got a story
 Well you best just save your breath
 'Cause when it comes to railroad memoirs
 I've heard the best of the best of the best
 These old heads got a tale for every line, and every single yard
 So if you wanna impress me nowadays
 Well it's gonna be mighty hard
 Unless you hopped through Alaska in the dead of winter
 In shorts with no sleeping bag
 Or you laid your eyes on every single one
 Of Bozo Texino's tags
 Or you snuck into an auto carrier
 And rode away in a Lincoln Town Car
 Well if your stories don't match the old heads, kid
 You best save them for the bar