CHRONICALLY CAUTIOUS

I gamble big for the smallest part, I know it's not
 Enough to change what's been going on, but it's all I've got
 I misjudge and switch up from target to target
 Miscalculate what it is that I wanted
 Swimming in circles in search of substance
 In shallow waters that give me nothing
 How can optimists be cynical?
 So if I'm honest, I think I'm beginnin' to question how much I want this
 Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous
 Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious
 How can I get off this?
 To keep it simple, I think I've been willingly following every impulse
 Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window
 Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles
 Passionate but fickle
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 The source of my serotonin is only digital
 'Cause my reality's fading, I guess that's typical
 Can't switch back, it's mismatched in dopamine
 Get whiplash, it hits fast, controlling me
 Swerving in silence, I'm all alone
 In traffic I'm trapped in, I can't find home
 I'm an optimist who's cynical
 (That's f-king miserable)
 So if I'm honest, I think I'm beginnin' to question how much I want this
 Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous
 Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious
 How can I get off this?
 To keep it simple, I think I've been willingly following every impulse
 Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window
 Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles
 Passionate but fickle