If Only

If the sun and moon were aligned
 And they both crashed to the stars
 If you weren't so far behind
 You have a gun aimed at my heart
 I can not fall victim to my rage
 Feeling like a slave I do not reach out
 I may never fucking see a stage
 Hopping off this plane if I feel compelled
 Oh if only you knew
 (If only) I've been having battles with myself
 Thoughts underseas let em drift away
 I've been screaming yelling up to god
 Throw the kid a book let me flip the page
 I can not expect to walk this road
 Damage to my soul leaving behold
 I don't want to feel this world anymore
 All my life, all my life they calling me up(?)
 All my life, all my life always doubt me
 All my life, all my life they calling me up(?)
 If I would've known what I know now
 If only I knew
 If I could go back and do it all
 I would change a thing
 I would double up
 How can you keep talking while you fall
 You get double crossed, we just double up
 So I'm not really hearing what you say
 Pain has never got me anywhere anyway
 All I really think about is this
 Try to box me in
 Put that thing away(?)
 All my life, all my life they calling me up(?)
 All my life, all my life always doubt me
 All my life, all my life they calling me up(?)
 If I would've known what I know now
 If only I knew