FIGJAM

I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake
 'Til the afternoon, because I slept in late
 With a great mental state and a date with destiny
 I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressin' me
 Let alone arrestin' me or giving me a ticket
 It's coming into summer and the weather's fucking wicked
 So, I figured I'd be hitting the beach
 Look at skinny-dipper's titties and get something to eat
 After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger
 I'm sitting on my arse like a council worker
 Reminiscing about being pissed off about
 My house burning down to the ground and being out on my arse
 Before my change of fortune
 Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon
 So your mama's on the head of my knob
 And it's better than heading to my dead-end job
 Because the boss was a cock head when I was a clerk
 So I clocked him - and now I don't work
 It's a beautiful day, and I could use a cliché, 'cause
 "I am the greatest!" like Cassius Clay
 I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierarchy (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man)
 I rock around in track-and-thongs
 Fucked off a bucket-bong
 If you don't like it, you can come suck a long dick
 'Cause I'm Brit pop, all the way to hip hop
 I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking gyp rock
 But I'm shit-hot, no matter how you look at it
 And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-let
 Don't - 'cause I'm cooking it like the Iron Chef!
 That's why I'm deaf, up to the higher clef
 (FIGJAM!)
 The rhymes are fat like Chief Wiggum and in fact
 I never lack it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams
 Weatherduck snobs and you sucking on a give-a-damn
 So good on the cut, they should call me Edward Scissorhands
 So give a hand for me and my associates (you suck!)
 Well, that's just inappropriate
 Smoke me a kipper, bitch
 I'm from the Ipswich
 Side of town, don't forget to write it down (Westside!)
 What the fuck, it ain't gangster rap!
 Think you're tougher, then you probably suffer wanker's cramp
 And I'll thank you to fuck right off
 Professional fuckwits, take one night off
 I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
 (Ah! I can't believe how good I am, I'm the motherfucking man!)
 I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 Kicking arse in the cha, but you can't class me (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 You just had a threesome with your mama and your aunty (FIGJAM!)
 Fuck I'm good, just ask me
 And they're coming back this arvo for the bukkake party (FIGJAM!)
 My dick is bigger than a wigwam!
 And you can see my peepee three feet above a teepee
 If you are getting very sleepy, wake up! (These cunts need a shake-up)
 I'm a jet-setter, go-getter, but I got a vendetta
 Just got a death threat over the phone, better
 Go lay low, underground like a bilby (FIGJAM!)
 Chill man, people wanna kill me!
 But I don't let that bullshit sweat me
 I'm at your mama's if you wanna come and get me
 You shady fuck, I may be stuck
 In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by Lady Luck
 You wanna stop me? You'd wanna do it properly! (Blam! Blam!)
 Ah fuck! Somebody shot me!