La Vie Boheme

ANGEL: Who died?
 BENNY: Our Akita
 ANGEL, ROGER: Evita
 BENNY: You make fun - yet I'm the one
 Attempting to do some good
 Or do you really want a neighborhood
 Where people piss on your
 Stoop every night?
 Bohemia, Bohemia's
 A fallacy in your head
 This is Calcutta,
 Bohemia is dead
 MARK: Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
 COLLINS & ROGER: Dies irae - dies illa, Kyrie eleison
 Yitgadal v'yitkadash
 MARK: Here she lies, no one knew her worth
 The late great daughter of Mother Earth
 On these nights when we
 Celebrate the birth
 In that little town of Bethlehem
 We raise our glass - you bet your ass to -
 La vie Boheme
 ALL: La vie Boheme
 La vie Boheme
 La vie Boheme
 La vie Boheme
 MARK: To days of inspiration
 Playing hookey, making
 Something out of nothing
 The need to express-
 To communicate,
 To going against the grain,
 Going insane, going mad
 To loving tension, no pension
 To more than one dimension,
 To starving for attention,
 Hating convention, hating pretension
 Not to mention of course,
 Hating dear old Mom and Dad
 To riding your bike,
 Midday past the three-piece suits
 To fruits - to no absolutes-
 To Absolute - to choice-
 To the Village Voice-
 To any passing fad
 To being an us for once ... instead of a them!!
 ALL: La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme
 MR. GREY: Ahhemm
 MAUREEN: Hey Mister - she's my sister
 WAITER: So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
 Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
 And one pasta with meatless balls
 ROGER: Eww
 COLLINS: It tastes the same
 MIMI: If you close your eyes
 WAITER: And thirteen orders of fries
 Is that it here?
 ALL: Wine and beer!
 MIMI & ANGEL: To hand-crafted beers
 Made in local breweries
 To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
 To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
 To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou
 MAUREEN & COLLINS: Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
 Creation, vacation
 MARK: Mucho masturbation
 MAUREEN & COLLINS: Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
 COLLINS: To Sontag
 ANGEL: To Sondheim
 FOUR GIRLS: To anything taboo
 COLLINS & ROGER: Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage,
 COLLINS: Lenny Bruce
 ROGER: Langston Hughes
 MAUREEN: To the stage
 BOHEMIANS: To Uta. To Buddha. Pablo Neruda, too.
 MARK & MIMI: Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
 To blow off Auntie Em
 ALL: La vie Boheme
 MR. GREY: Sisters?
 MAUREEN & JOANNE: We're close
 ANGELS & COLLINS: Brothers!
 MARK, ANGEL & MIMI: Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
 Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
 Pee Wee Herman
 German wine, turpetine, Gertrude Stein
 Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
 Carmina Burana
 ALL: To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy
 Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC
 To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
 COLLINS: To marijuana
 ALL: To sodomy, it's between God and me
 To S & M
 BENNY: Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter!
 ALL: La vie Boheme
 COLLINS: In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon
 Will commence immediately following dinner ...
 Maureen Johnson, just
 Back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot,
 Will perform Native American tribal chants
 Backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric
 Cello - which she ain't never studied.
 ROGER: And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability
 To hold an erection on the high holy days.
 MARK: And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap,
 Will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
 And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
 (Roger plays a solo)
 That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz!"
 COLLINS: Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions
 From Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.
 ANGEL: And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist -
 Including the tale of his successful reprogramming of the M.I.T.
 Virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words:
 ALL: "Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"
 MIMI: Excuse me - did I do something wrong?
 I get invited - then ignored all night long
 ROGER: I've been trying - I'm not lying
 No one's perfect. I've got baggage
 MIMI: Life's too short, babe, time is flying
 I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
 ROGER: I should tell you
 MIMI: I've got baggage too
 ROGER: I should tell you
 ROGER & MIMI: Baggage
 ALL: Wine and beer!
 MIMI: AZT break
 ROGER: You?
 MIMI: Me. You?
 ROGER: Mimi