Ungrateful

I don't wanna seem ungrateful, God
 But I don't wanna be here
 I got some things to get off my chest
 But maybe it's best I keep it a secret
 31st December, the 1st of Jan'
 Same shit, I don't care 'bout the new year
 New house somewhere that ain't poverty-driven
 It's mad in the place that I grew in
 Yo, served a pregnant lady, it fucked in my head
 Couple things I regret tryna earn a wage
 48 Laws, one book that I read
 So if I repent, can I turn the page?
 Gotta get rid of bad vibes, anti-clockwise, gotta burn the sage, uh
 I'll say with it chest, but I know some things locked in, I prefer not to say
 I fucked up, I'm admittin' it
 I got no ego, I got no shame
 I swallow my pride and say that I'm missin' it
 Cree-cree-creep in the changing room at school
 And thief from the kids that are privileged, uh
 Stolen clothes with a rip in it
 Also a stolen phone, no sim in it
 Now I got P's, I give a lot back
 No charity work tryna write off tax
 Feds got me on a driving ban
 In the passenger seat 'til my license back, uh
 Ghost and fly off the map, uh
 Try get my mind off rap
 I get some sort of survivors guilt
 When I see YM's still supplying crack
 This life don't come with retiring plans
 It'll come to an end in unfortunate ways
 No such thing as positive thinkin'
 When you're locked in, it feel like a maze
 Often lose faith and forget to pray
 You don't wanna land on the wing with the guys
 Why? 'Cause they might melt your face
 Cuz got hit with a eight, why?
 Why would he care 'bout some extra days?
 I don't wanna seem ungrateful, God
 But I don't wanna be here
 I got some things to get off my chest
 But maybe it's best I keep it a secret
 31st December, the 1st of Jan'
 Same shit, I don't care 'bout the new year
 New house somewhere that ain't poverty driven
 It's mad in the place that I grew in
 Uh, I ain't been home in some weeks
 I seek when a man's in need
 I got a family tree to feed
 I see dead people in my sleep
 I see broke people on the feed
 Talk is cheap, freedom of speech, I guess
 But they ain't even got no P's
 Got free Wi-Fi, they ain't got 4G
 Uh, I wouldn't be able to do what I do
 If it weren't for the man before me
 I show respect where it's due
 Where would I be if I never met YBeeez?
 Giggs, Ghetts, Chip, Skep, Konan, Krept
 Kane or Dev, Stormz, Hus, Dave
 A couple of names, even DBE
 Uh, my mum lost faith in her son when I left school with no GCSE's
 Told shawty, "Just 'cause I grew up with nothin' don't mean I'm easy to please"
 When you need a handout, you don't get help
 Why do you all wanna help? I ain't even in need
 Had one score for an hour of studio time, I couldn't even lease the beat
 Do not disturb me when I'm recordin'
 My voice sounds clearer than ever, uh
 Remember they might distortin', I grew in a different era
 More action, less talkin', he said I'm a dead man walkin'
 One in your head, there ain't no respawnin', alright
 I don't wanna seem ungrateful, God
 But I don't wanna be here
 I got some things to get off my chest
 But maybe it's best I keep it a secret
 31st December, the 1st of Jan'
 Same shit, I don't care bout the new year
 New house somewhere that ain't poverty-driven
 It's mad in the place that I grew in