Tearjerker

You are such a jerk
 You are a tearjerker
 You don't need a girlfriend
 You need a social worker
 She's waiting at the airport
 You're in your hotel room
 With someone who doesn't know you
 Everybody always knew
 The game that you were playing
 You were fooling no one
 So we're glad that you are paying
 But still, she's gonna cry
 Yes, still, it's gonna hurt her
 But you are a tearjerker
 You're such a jerk, yeah
 A tearjerker
 You're such a jerk, yeah
 These surfaces are shining
 Anything wipes off them
 These surfaces are hard
 Nothing seems to mark them
 Breakfast ends at 10 a.m.
 Do you think we could be through by then?
 'Cause breakfast is inclusive
 Do you think I'm stupid?
 I'm stupid
 I'm stupid
 You are such a jerk
 You are a tearjerker