Numb Phase

what didn't kill me
 left me cold enough to live this lie
 now I drift desensitized reality has
 had it's way with this time
 confidence now lost in comfort
 of familiar habits
 I know it's destructive
 but I can not get past this barricade
 I boiled up inside too high
 I've got to pull out of numbing phase
 hold down this fear
 push back self doubt
 I'm most afraid that I will fall to failure
 so much to say can't get it out
 it's all a waste chaste
 forced to indignant taste
 self propelled rejection
 it's more than I can take (right now)
 so sick of hiding from what I can't face
 so sick of hiding from what I can't face
 I must get through this wall of insecurity
 the thought of rejection more than
 I can take and i've got to get out of this numb phase
 set numb aside