Spidey-Bells (A Hero's Lament)

Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 Swinging through Midtown
 Oh, what fun to sling a web
 And take the bad guys down
 Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 Quipping all the time
 Oh, what fun to swing around
 New York while fighting crime
 Thwipping through the streets
 Of New York every night
 Wrapping bad guys up
 In my web so tight
 Crawling up the walls
 Making villains fight
 What fun to make the holidays
 Free from crime tonight
 Oh, Spider Bells, Goblin smells
 Vulture laid an egg
 Spider-Buggy blew a tire
 Venom got away-ay
 Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 Swinging all the way
 Oh, what fun it is to fight
 The bad guys every night
 Swinging through the streets
 A web of spider silk
 Kicking all the butts
 Of villains and their ilk
 Bombs from goblins fling (fling!)
 Pumpkins burning bright (bright!)
 How hard it is to consistently bring
 Peace to New York all night
 Oh, Spidey Bells, might be swell
 To do more than fight crime
 I got a lotta qualities that don't get much airtime
 I-I can sing, I can dance
 I tell jokes, I act
 I get big, big... big deal, my agent call me back
 Why did I agree to do this stupid song?
 I have a degree in Chemical Engineering
 I thought it would be fun
 To show this side of me
 But now I feel it lacks
 Artistic integrity
 Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 Is this who I've become?
 Selling out my good name for an impulse buy
 How dumb
 Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 I'm filled with deep regret
 I'm cancelling this song's release
 For the press I get
 Oh, Spidey Bells, Spidey Bells
 Swinging through Midtown
 Oh, what fun to sling a web
 And take the bad guys down