No Sex

{Ladies and gentlemen of the GED class of 1999
 I have one piece of advice for you
 No matter what a stripper tells you
 There's no sex in the champagne room
 None}
 {Oh there's champagne in the champagne room
 But you don't want champagne, you want sex
 And there's no sex
 In the champagne room}
 Don't go to parties with metal detectors
 Sure it feels safe inside, but what about
 All those niggaz waitin' outside with guns?
 They know you ain't got one
 If a woman tells you she's 20 and looks 16, she's 12
 If she tells you she's 26, and looks 26, she's damn near 40
 Take off that silly-ass hat
 The O.D.B. couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes
 Coolio did some of that shit
 Young black men, if you go to a movie theater
 And someone steps on your foot, let it slide
 Why spend the next twenty years in jail
 'Cause someone smudged your Puma?
 Cornbread, ain't nuttin' wrong with that
 No matter what you think of what I'm sayin'
 Remember this one thing
 There is no sex
 In the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 Absolutely, positively, no sex in the champagne room
 If a homeless person, has a funny sign
 He hasn't been homeless that long
 A real homeless person
 Is too hungry, to be funny
 If a girl has a pierced tongue
 She'll probably suck your dick
 If a guy has a pierced tongue
 He'll probably suck your dick
 Here's a horoscope for everyone
 Aquarius, you're gonna die
 Capricorn, you're gonna die
 Gemini, you're gonna die twice
 Leo, you're gonna die
 Scorpio, you're gonna die fucking
 Ohh yeah
 No one goes to hooters for wings
 No no no
 If you've been dating a man for four months
 And you haven't met any of his friends
 You are not his girlfriend
 Some of the things I've said may not apply to you
 Some of the things I've said may offend you
 But no matter who you are, you must remember this one thing
 No matter what a stripper says
 There's no sex in the champagne room
 None
 No sex in the champagne room
 Said no sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 No no sex in the champagne room
 No sex in the champagne room
 Can't get none
 Can't have none
 In the champagne room
 Said there's absolutely, positively
 No sex in the champagne room
 Said no, no
 Said no
 Said Chris said.
 There ain't no sex
 In the champagne room
 No no no
 Can't get none
 Can't have none