If My Friends Could See Me Now

If they could see me now
 That little gang of mine
 I'm eatin' fancy chow and drinkin' fancy wine
 I'd like those stumble bums
 To see for a fact
 The kind of top-drawer, first-rate chums I attract
 All I can say is "Wow-ee!"
 Look-a where I am
 Tonight I landed, POW!
 Right in a pot of jam
 What a setup, holy cow!
 They'd never believe it
 If my friends could see me now!
 If they could see me now
 My little dusty group
 Traipsin' round this million dollar chicken coop
 I'd hear those thrift shop cats say, "Brother get her!
 Draped on a bedspread made from three kinds of fur!"
 All I can say is "Wow!"
 Wait till the riff and raff
 See just exactly how
 He signed his autograph
 What a build up, holy cow!
 They'd never believe it
 If my friends could see me now!
 If they could see me now
 Alone with Mr. V
 Who's waitin' on me like he was a maitre'd
 I hear my buddies sayin', "Crazy, what gives?
 Tonight she's living like the other half lives!"
 To think the highest brow
 Which I must say is he
 Should pick the lowest brow
 Which there's no doubt is me
 What a step up, holy cow!
 They'd never believe it
 If my friends could see me now!
 They'd never believe it!
 They'd never believe it!
 If my friends could see me now!
 Hi girls, it's me! Charity!