One Jack Off

Every Friday night I go to bubba's hardware store
 And give the secret knock on the private stockroom door
 Good ol' boys are shootin craps playin' five card stud
 Hot lookin' women
 Ice cold suds
 This blonde was playin' poker
 She was on a roll
 I sat down beside her with my ace in the hole
 I had to draw a jack to win
 With a straight ace high
 But win I drew that card
 I kissed that pot goodbye
 cause I'm one jack off
 Here in my hand
 I got an ace, a king, a queen, and a ten and
 Now I'm in a jam
 I was doin' fine till I pulled that nine
 That's win I went soft
 I was temptin' fate with an ace high stright
 But I'm one jack off
 I've played with this deck so long its messin' with my mind
 I've heard it said to much of this it can make a man go blind
 I can't let her beat me but I ain't got a prayer
 I'm sure she's got a real good hand
 I see she's got a pair
 I stared across the table
 Hopin' that she calls
 Then when she raised me
 Well I dang near lost it all
 I tried to pull it out figurin' Id bluff
 But win I showed her what I had
 She said to bad your one jack off
 I'm just one jack off
 Ain't that great
 She said nice try but nine, ten, queen, king, ace don't make a straight
 I said how about another round
 She said adie up there hoss
 She took all my money
 And I'm still one jack off
 I'm one jack off
 Just my luck
 She won my favorite pair of cowboy boots
 And the pink slip to my truck
 I knew Id have to come again next week
 To get back what I lost
 That's the story of my life
 Its seems I'm always one jack off
 That's right
 One jack off