46 Things I Did Today

1, counted my blessings
 2, counted my wrinkles
 3, counted on nobody
 4, manicured my nails
 5, curtailed my thinking
 6, poured kerosene on some bridges
 7, hit the bricks
 8, had inner dialogues with urks and people
 Saving a lot of money on phone calls
 9, ripped pretty pictures out of periodicals
 10, pretended to be Icarus and burnt my hand on the stove
 11, met a young Cuban Santaro homeboy fucked up on junk
 And though he was appropriately inappropriate
 I gave it a miss
 12, slapped myself on the back for being so sensible
 13, beat myself up for having been so sensible
 14, chilled in the miracle
 15, traded beauty tips with Lucrezia Borgia
 16, cashed in on my new found
 Second queer sexuality at the local deli
 17, had a hip-hop housewive's Satori
 18, filed a lawsuit against Central America
 For alienation of affections
 19, got a papercut
 20, got a haircuit
 21, cut my losses
 22, cut a cheque
 23, cut it fine
 24, cut a rug
 25, dropped a hint
 26, dropped the dime
 27, dropped the subject
 28, stressed over escalating global violence
 29, stressed over the global market
 30, stressed over the deterioration
 Of the global ecostructure
 31, stressed over which lipstick best suits my complexion
 32, contemplated suicide
 33, contemplated going to the movies
 34, contemplated going to Hollywood
 35, contemplated going to K-Mart
 36, contemplated the complexities of human nature
 37, layed
 38, strayed
 39, prayed
 40, chilled in the miracle again
 41, served it up
 42, turned it out
 43, outplayed it
 44, outsold it
 45, outshowed it
 46, out