Such Horrible Things

Sit Back Now, Let Me Tell You A Tale
 Where Justice Does Not Prevail
 About An Ill-Fated Life, So Very Full Of Strife
 Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right
 So...
 When I Was Born
 I Did Surely Scorn
 My Proud Parents Name
 Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain
 Drove Them Insane
 My Birth Was A Curse
 I Bit The Nurse
 Oh, But I Love The Worst
 I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed
 Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse
 When I Was Two
 I Poured Super Glue
 Into My Fathers Hair
 As He Sat Unaware
 In His Arm Chair
 Much To His Dismay
 Had To Cut It All Away
 Oh, But It Felt Great
 I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted
 Then Tossed About In Disarray
 Until The Pieces Melt Away
 I Am Not A Bad Man
 Even Though I Do Bad Things
 Very Bad Things
 Such Horrible Things
 But It's Not Quite What It Seems
 **Not Quite What He Seems**
 Not Quite What I Seem
 Ah, Hell
 It's Exactly What It Seems
 When I Was Four
 I'd Wait By The Door
 With A Knife In My Hand
 And A Most Devious Plan
 It Would Be Quite Grand
 As The Mail Fell Through The Slot
 The Sharp Edge He Got
 Oh, But I Like The Thought
 I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot
 Broken Bones And Blood Clots
 When I Was Six
 I Used To Trick
 The Next Door Neighbors Son
 In The Woods We Would Run
 Time For Fun
 Hide And Seek Has A Cost
 He Would Be Forever Lost
 Oh, But I Love To Scoff
 I Deveserve To Have My Head Lopped Off
 Hidden And Covered In Moss
 Until This Memory's Forgot
 I Am Not A Bad Man
 Even Though I Do Bad Things
 Very Bad Things
 Such Horrible Things
 But It's Not Quite What It Seems
 **Not Quite What He Seems**
 Not Quite What I Seem
 Ah, Hell
 It's Exactly What It Seems
 When I Was Eight
 I Used To Hate
 The Color Of My House
 So As Quite As A Mouse
 I Burned It Down
 To The Ground
 When No One Was Around
 Oh, But I Love The Sound
 I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down
 Rotting Six Feet Underground
 When I Was Ten
 I Used To Pretend
 To Drown In The Sea
 Till They Come And Rescue Me
 Then Preceed
 To Laugh In Their Face
 Such A Disgrace
 Oh, But I Love The Taste
 I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced
 All Over The Fireplace
 Until This Life Has Been Erased
 I Am Not A Bad Man
 Even Though I Do Bad Things
 Very Bad Things
 Such Horrible Things
 But It's Not Quite What It Seems
 **Not Quite What He Seems**
 Not Quite What I Seem
 Ah, Hell
 It's Exactly What It Seems
 When I Was Twelve
 I Used To Delve
 Into Evil Schemes
 Just To Illicit Screams
 Boost My Self Esteem
 Pushed My Sister Down A Well
 She Just Fell
 Oh, But I Love To Dwell
 I Deserve To The Roast Deep Down In Hell
 Where No One Can Hear Me Yell
 When I Was Fourteen
 Nothing Much Happened
 Well, There Was That One Time
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 I Am Not A Bad Man
 Even Though I Do Bad Things
 Very Bad Things
 Such Horrible Things
 But It's Not Quite What It Seems
 **Not Quite What He Seems**
 Not Quite What I Seem
 Ah, Hell
 It's Exactly What It Seems
 When I Was Sixteen
 Life Was Frightening
 My Brother Was Quiet Dull
 So With Laughter In My Skull
 Pushed Him In A Hole
 Then Buried Him Alive
 He Barely Survived
 Oh, But I Love The Cries
 I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried
 In An Electric Chair That's Set On High
 Now That I'm Eighteen
 I Still Hate Things
 From This Padded Cell I Call My Home
 No Friends, No Phone
 No Life To Call My Own
 Here I Will Lie
 Until The Very Day I Die
 Until My Blood Begins To Dry
 And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came
 So
 I Am Not A Bad Man
 Even Though I Do Bad Things
 Very Bad Things
 Such Horrible Things
 But It's Not Quite What It Seems
 Not Quite What I Seem
 Ah, Hell
 I'm Exactly What I Seem