It's OK, I Wouldn't Remember Me Either

I don't want to be awake again
 I spend my days with my head in my hands
 If I go outside, I'll fall apart
 I am mostly scared by passing time
 The world, it seems, gets more unkind
 Inevitable tragedies will soon be mine
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 I am looking for an easy place
 To mask my thoughts behind my face
 Oh, brown-baked column of victory
 Maybe I should just pack up and run away again
 Let you forget that you were once my friend
 Then watch another, go on and do better without me
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 But I could not go away, not if I wanted to
 I can hide from friends but I cannot hide from you
 These chemical reactions are dividing me
 Self-deprecating thoughts interrupting all the time
 Emphasising all the traits that I wish weren't mine
 They speak louder than everybody
 Try to keep my eyes closed as my outlook isn't bright
 Compulsively complaining when I haven't got the right
 I hate the way that I think and act
 I want to end reality but I feel hesitant
 Optimistic that the future will be more concerned than the present
 And so for today, I'll remain intact
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 I don't want to be awake again
 I spend my days with my head in my hands
 If I go outside, I'll fall apart