Never There

I thought of reaching out, we could take this slow
 Hesitation turned to habit, never made the call
 No branch to break my fall
 I'd have so much to tell you, but I
 Drink 'til I can't blink
 And I fill my brain with holes
 My voice is worse for wear
 Because I lost my self-control, I've lost my hope
 (I've lost my hope)
 Now I don't wanna say I'm scared
 'Cause I don't want you to think
 That this life I slave away for
 Is what brings an end to me
 But now I'm walking through my life with a clenched up fist
 Holding back the tears and feelings that I never spent
 I try to find a purpose or a path to set
 But I've only found the void, and so I
 Drink 'til I can't blink
 And I fill my brain with holes
 Because the place that I feel safest
 It was never there, never there at all