Sames And Opposites

In life there are many things
 Some of them are the same and some are opposites
 About some of these things I do sing
 A cactus is the opposite of a chair
 In my house you can sit anywhere but there
 especially if your ass is bare
 A bird house is not the same as a bird home
 one is much more comfortable for birds
 These are sames and opposites my friends
 which I determined
 A musical is the same as a burlap sack
 I would not want to be in either
 A squirrel is the same as a can
 when there's a BB gun in my hand
 Can't you see that I am just a man?
 With distinctions and comparisons
 Spare change is the same as wedgies for me
 I don't give it unless someone's really asking
 Unless you're at a funeral
 To live is the same as to dream
 If you do both long enough you'll see
 But you have to work in between
 Unless you have narcolepsy
 (That was a boring solo)
 Earrings are the same as sneezes
 Two is okay but ten in a row is annoying
 If you have two then God bless you
 These are sames and opposites my friends
 which I have determined
 A secret admirer is the same as a stalker
 With stationery
 An ex-girlfriend is the same as an okay movie
 I liked it at the time but I don't want to see it again
 Especially if the movie was kind of a bitch
 These are sames and opposites my friends
 which I have determined
 So far