Evil Paper Bag

It's an evil paper bag
 You put good things in
 Bad things come out
 It can make you really mad
 Put the newspaper in and then there's bad news through the county
 Luckily it's only a local paper and not the whole country
 Don't put babies inside
 Don't put money inside
 Don't put yourself inside
 Cause it will make you bad
 Don't put your mom inside
 Don't put anything inside
 Cause it's an evil paper bag
 It contains the vengeful spirit of a million obliterated trees
 The lumberjack killed it's family
 His girlfriend too
 It had a home with a view
 But now, it's an evil paper bag
 Don't put your car inside
 Don't put Germany inside
 Don't put another bag inside
 Cause it will make it bad
 Don't put your step-dad inside
 Don't put anything inside
 Cause it's an evil paper bag