Kick The Tragedy

I think it was the first time I realized that I can change the world
 Or at least change the way you and my sister hit the clock on every tick just to see what happened
 The time has really flown by I guess, and it's hard to think of the way it might've been or remember very specifically the words and all the rest of it
 I was down, more than I wanted to be probably
 That is what we do with it all together
 Like the orange trees in the backyard, and it's Easter, and it just won't end
 Fucking Phil, he's off with his boys somewhere, and I'm just sitting here getting more and more lost with everything
 That's the thing about it, it's not as if a cousin promised something and taken it away
 It was like nobody could share my so-called dreams, which really meant none of it is happening
 And that reach around midnight left her with just about that, nothing
 There's not anything particular about it either, and I think the whole thing gets vaguer every second
 But I am too and there's nothing wrong with that
 It's even funny when you stop to realize I'm just nineteen, and how serious can anything be anyway?
 Not very