If I Had A Million Dollars

If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you a house
 I would buy you a house
 And if I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 I'd buy you furniture for your house
 Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman
 And if I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you a K-Car
 A nice Reliant automobile
 And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
 If I had a million dollars
 I'd build a tree-fort in our yard
 If I had a million dollars you could help
 It wouldn't be that hard
 If I had a million dollars
 Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge
 In there somewhere
 We could just go up there and hang out
 Like open the fridge and stuff
 And there'd all be foods laid out for us
 Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things
 They have pre-wrapped sausages
 But they don't have pre-wrapped bacon
 Well, can you blame them?
 Yeah!
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
 But not a real fur coat, that's cruel
 And if I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet
 Yep, like a llama or an emu
 And if I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
 All them crazy elephant bones
 And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
 If I had a million dollars
 We wouldn't have to walk to the store
 If I had a million dollars
 We'd take a limousine, 'cause it costs more
 If I had a million dollars
 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner
 But we would eat Kraft Dinner
 Of course we would, we'd just eat more
 And buy really expensive ketchups with it
 That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you a green dress
 But not a real green dress, that's cruel
 And if I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you some art
 A Picasso or a Garfunkel
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 Well, I'd buy you a monkey
 Haven't you always wanted a monkey?
 If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 If I had a million dollars
 I'd be rich!