The Book Report

You are my favorite miracle
 I have seen you in a field of marigolds
 But I'm glad I don't have to give my prayers to you
 'Cause I know we'll make it through whatever happens
 I don't care how we proceed
 I just care that you know me
 I've got bags under my eyes
 Like I've been carrying groceries for a long time
 With a strong mind, brought up on the wrong side
 Of the railroad cross-slide where my Grandma says they all die
 But if you think about it, every soldier fights for compromise
 I can't predict the future but we all can prophesize
 On your bedroom floor where I promised I would never grow up
 I think since then I've seen we all eventually go
 To that white hospital bed, we watched your dad lay
 And almost turn into a ghost, Ghost, I know you've had a bad day
 But that's okay buddy 'cause I swear to God I'm by your side
 And I'll be with you any time you say you're down to ride
 So, here I am in the midst of feeling tired
 Watching fireworks from your garage in old facades that we'll retire
 I only recently believed that we've got tires in our souls
 That don't weary any time we go to drive 'em
 We're the suicide kids
 We only think about ourselves
 And keep secrets, like 'I won't tell.'
 And up on Suicide Hill, where we climbed high as hell
 We used to hide out and try to find ourselves
 We are the suicide kids
 We only think about ourselves
 And keep secrets, like 'I won't tell.'
 And up on Suicide Hill, when we got high as hell
 We used to hide out and try too hard to find ourselves
 And so I started liking English
 It managed my expressions
 And felt like wet cement;
 It could carry my impressions
 What if the butterflies inside our stomachs are still hatching?
 Or imagine that we search the dirt pile and find the hatchets that we buried?
 In light of all this faith that I still can't believe
 You left it on the trampoline when you were barely teen
 I mean we traveled to September, the summer-killing month
 And missed the cigarette kisses and the poems that I wrote that sucked
 But on that white hospital bed you watched your brother cry
 Now I swear I'll shave my head, grow out my hair some other time
 'Cause I've been fighting things myself, I can be his savior
 I cleaned my room and emptied out those medicine containers
 So that I can take this pencil, the one meant for the book report
 Use up all its graphite on emotions I've been looking for
 Lose myself inside a childhood of looking forward
 Well, whatever, life just took its course
 I hope you're looking for
 You are my favorite miracle
 I have seen you in a field of marigolds
 But I'm glad I don't have to give my prayers to you
 'Cause I know we'll make it through whatever happens
 And on that white hospital bed, we'll watch each other lie
 And swear that it's forever on the tattoos that we cover
 I don't believe in miracles but I have at other times
 And I believe that I can carry all your troubles. I swear
 On that white hospital bed, we'll watch each other lie
 And swear that it's forever on the scars that we cover
 I don't believe in miracles but I have at other times
 And I believe that I can carry all your troubles. I swear
 That I'mma take this pencil, the one meant for the book report
 Use up all its graphite on emotions I've been looking for
 Lose myself inside a childhood of looking forward
 Well, whatever, life just took its course
 I hope you're looking for
 The suicide kids in every person that you haven't met
 And all the perfect places that we haven't been to yet
 All the cameras and the passed-out floors that I haven't mentioned yet
 You give 'em hell kid and never let yourself forget
 'Cause we've all got higher hills to climb regardless of our depths
 But I would never look to suicide if I had nothing left
 I would simply form a smile thinking back on all my friends
 And read The Book Report I wrote so many years ago again