Be More Chill - Pt. 1

Take your hands out of your pockets
 Arch your back, puff out your chest
 Add some swagger to your gait, or
 You'll look like a masturbator
 Fix your posture, then the rest
 But I AM a masturbator-
 We'll fix that
 All your nerdiness is ugly
 Nerd?
 I thought I was more of a geek, but-
 All your stammering's a chore
 Wh-wh-what?
 Your tics and fidgets are persistent
 And your charm is non-existent
 We'll fix your vibe, then fix some more
 Bu- (Bu-)
 I- (Bu-)
 Sh- (No)
 Wai- (Stop)
 Oh, everything about you is so terrible
 Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die
 Jesus Christ
 So don't freak out
 And don't resist
 And have no doubt
 If I assist
 You will
 Be more chill
 First thing's first, go buy a new shirt
 What?! What's wrong with my shirt- (Shh)
 It's better if you just comply
 My job's to color your aesthetic
 And make you seem much less pathetic
 So just step and fetch, don't ask me why
 How are you with math homework?
 I'm a super-computer, Jeremy
 I'm made of math
 Oh, everything about you is so terrible (everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)
 Whoa, everything about you makes me wanna die (everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)
 All the people in the mall think you are such a slob (you're a slob, terrible, such a slob!)
 Boy, can I see why!
 Now, you, try picking a shirt
 That's a girl's shirt
 Jerry?
 Uh, Jeremy
 You shop here?
 Oh, yeah all the time-
 Never
 Never, is what I meant to-
 Greet the beta
 Oh, hey, Brooke
 "You look sexy"
 I can't say that to a hot girl!
 Don't smile, stare intensely
 Speak like you don't care about your own death
 Lookin' pretty sexy, Brooke
 Thanks
 Is that a girl's shirt?
 No
 "Yes"
 Yes
 Repeat after me-
 I saw it in the window (I saw it in the window)
 And I couldn't dismiss (and I couldn't dismiss)
 I was dating a girl and (I was dating a girl)
 She had a shirt just like this (and she had a shirt just like this!)
 It's still painful! (It's still painful)
 So, who was this mystery girl?
 Oh, you've probably never heard of her, so-
 Madeline
 Madeline
 What?
 She's French
 Ugh, she is NOT French!
 She just pretends to be for attention!
 Madeline broke up with you?
 Yeah... (No)
 I mean-
 I broke up with her (I broke up with her)
 'Cause she was cheating on me ('cause she was cheating on me!)
 Hey, Hamlet
 Be more chill