sick of talking

I think as time passes the worms eat at my broken brain more
 And I think as I grow closer to her I'm more afraid of shutting the door
 Am I the reason the cogs in your clock get clogged
 Or is it because of the raging past
 I wish for serenity but I'm just met with more pain
 I wish for dry necessities but I'm just met with more rain
 So watch me as I tear apart the notes written to save my soul
 Watch me as I tear the sheets off my bed
 That was supposed to hold both of us
 But that's how the rhythm goes
 And watch me as I take a hammer to our hearts as the beat slows
 And watch me as I bleed from every pore in my godforsaken body
 Because I made you hurt
 I made you doubt the future
 I'm a rose covered in thorns and you just want to pick me
 But the last one didn't give me water so I wilted away
 I'm a tree and you're the breeze spreading its way through my limbs
 But it's a shame all of my leaves fell off
 Because I didn't have a ray of sunshine
 I can't practice what I preach because I'm not listening to my lectures
 I'm a diamond that turns to coal if you put me under too much pressure
 I'm a tapestry left to fall apart on an abandoned wall
 I'm a rotted stump, maybe once I stood tall
 I'm dropped belongings left forgotten in the lost but never found
 I'm the echo of misheard screams that comes from all around
 I know it's my fault but I guess I'm just too afraid to admit it
 I want a gentle love but I guess I'm just too scared to commit to it
 Because what if people don't love me
 What if people don't trust me
 What if someone's above me
 What if I'm born again into unbroken skin
 Then what the hell will I do
 What if my breath isn't sucked away and my heart doesn't beat too fast
 What if my tears don't rip out of my eyes
 As if the clock is ticking towards eternity
 What if I didn't feel empty
 What if broken songs weren't what sent me
 What if my brain is just begging for attention
 My need to be the star of the show, so I wait until then
 What if I'm afraid to heal
 And what if none of this feels real
 So tell me if I can sit here and just listen
 Because I'm sick of talking