warmth

I curl up in the corner of my bed and listen, on repeat
 To the song that was playing when you first told me you had feelings for me
 I overanalyze each word and feel the icy passion
 That fills my veins with every strum of the guitar
 But then I remember how good morning texts
 That were topped with a smile and a heart
 Became glancing hellos followed by being left on delivered for hours
 And instead of having small talks about the things we love
 It became short chats that were much more sour
 Compliments became an oasis in the desert
 My affection became something that I should've preserved
 Like a misbalanced see-saw, we became one-sided
 And you took for granted the things I provided
 How do I tell you how much I feel for you
 When I have poison in my heart that glues my mouth shut
 How do I give more when every single voice in my head is yelling enough
 I can't
 So I just lay in the corner of my bed, playing this song
 Hoping to feel the same warmth I felt that night
 That you told me you had feelings for me
 Isn't it all so lovely
 Repetition followed by intense highs and destructive lows
 A chasm that seemingly cannot be escaped
 Hands reaching out, never far enough
 Worries about nothing all
 But above all else, loneliness in the presence of company
 Loneliness in the presence of company
 Loneliness in the presence of company
 In the presence of company