Pirates of the Heart

Your lover is a fucker
 Your lover is a drunk
 He's no one's favorite person
 Not even his own mother's
 But that does not excuse him
 For making us all suffer
 Your lover is a fucker
 And the fucker must be gone
 Your lover is a bastard
 Your lover is a beast
 We all were having such a lovely time
 And then he bared his jagged teeth
 He opened up his asshole of a mouth
 And all that angry shit came pouring out
 Your lover is a bastard
 And it's time to do the deed
 We are the pirates of the heart
 We ride upon the open seas
 We find the fuckers where they are
 And then we bring them to their knees
 We show them pictures of their lives
 And we evaluate for free
 We give them feedback
 We give them feedback
 We help them bleed
 Your lover is a doorstop
 Your lover is a pill
 Your former lover was a prince
 And most of us admire him still
 You're saying this one is trying hard to change
 But even you don't think he will
 Your lover is a bad man
 And a bad man must be killed
 We are the pirates of the heart
 We ride upon the open seas
 We find the fuckers where they are
 And then we bring them to their knees
 We show them transcripts from the record
 Detailing each indignity
 We hurt their feelings
 We hurt their feelings
 And we help them bleed
 Now if you want to save him
 This lover we all hate
 We're going to give you one last stinkin' chance
 To break it off, for heaven's sake
 We'll give you until tomorrow at eight o'clock
 And you'd better not be late
 Your lover is the devil
 And the devil doesn't wait
 Whom for?
 For the pirates of the heart
 We ride upon the open seas
 We find the fuckers where they are
 And then we bring them to their knees
 And when the deed is finally done, my dear
 You'll realize that you love me (no, me!)
 For I'm a pirate
 We are the pirates
 We rule the sea, ah!