I Killed Myself but I Didn't Die

I killed myself but I didn't die
 She crossed her heart and stuck a needle in her eye
 She promised me she'll never leave me alone
 She doesn't sleep she only calls me on the phone all night
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 I went to school but I didn't learn
 I touched the fire but I didn't feel the burn
 Somehow I got desensitized to the world
 I hate pop music and I hate the Duke of Earl
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 I killed myself but I didn't die
 Now in the hospital recovering I lie
 None of the visitors can look me in the eye
 They say "How are ya?" but they don't apologize, oh no
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 And my mom came in she was having trouble trying to speak
 She could see that her boy was some sort of freak
 I killed myself but I didn't die
 Now she's my baby she's the apple of my eye
 She only wants a sensitive guy
 And I've been in and out of my mind three times
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 Thats just the way, the way I always was
 I go to therapy but I don't take the drugs
 I try and really look my life in the face
 I think I'm learning that there's no way to escape, oh no
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 And the worst part is that I didn't even really care
 It's just to be or not to be and either way I'm only barely there
 I killed myself but I'm still around
 I think the living dead will like me better now
 I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna go out more
 I'll be so beautiful with nothing at the core