Search for Tomorrow

I told myself to never stray indoctrinated by their words
 I push the verge of nature by extirpating my ideals
 But how can I look at myself after ceasing to fare well?
 I cannot find the answer all by myself
 I will not thrive ere my augury
 I still dream of the days when I could deliver myself
 But somehow all the pain has not faded away
 I somehow ought to leave but I still ought to stay
 With no regrets nor fear of dying, falling, stalling
 I seek to find the day
 I abandon all the thoughts about my view of the world
 By forever staying the same as I've always been
 But I do not search for the past, I seek for nothing higher
 I just want to demand myself to relish the verity
 Will I ever be free from the enticements
 Which expect me to astray, to choose the facile path?
 So I wish to search for tomorrow, cadaver born of the past
 And the hourglass of times bereaves from me
 Constellations are falling into the sea in which the hubrises dwell
 To the dark waters I descend, from the firmament I cast myself
 I abandon all the thoughts about my view of the world
 By forever staying the same as I've always been
 But I do not search for the past, I seek for nothing higher
 I just want to redeem myself by finding the answers
 Will I ever be free from the enticements
 Which expect me to astray, to choose the facile path?
 So I see the colours which are yet to fade
 And I am searching for something brighter
 Searching - searching
 Never thanked for what I had, I will lose it all, it all
 I dreamt for all the beauty which I never could have
 Every day seems so empty, every night so dull
 But my dreams still carry me to atone myself