Breathe

Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
 Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
 How long can you hold your breath
 Before you can't hold your breath any longer?
 How long until your lungs give out?
 And the sound that used to fill the void
 Quiets like a mouse at midnight
 Searching for its piece of the pie
 Today I stood in front of a window
 And Imagined what it would be like to fly
 No, I didn't
 I imagined what it would be like
 To Jump outside the frame that caged me inside
 But my better judgment said it wouldn't be very kind
 If someone you cared about found you
 That's the voice that plays like a tape on rewind
 Rewind
 Rewind
 It wouldn't be fair to a stranger either
 Today I'm reminded of the time I watched a man
 Jump into a highway when I was just seventeen
 The car lights on either side of the upper portion of the auto route below
 Standing at attention
 Staring off into the distance
 Just waiting for the road to clear
 And the way to the comfort of their loved ones to be made
 Death is a strange and hollow inconvenience
 When you think about it
 There's a blank face
 That quickly and abruptly finds Its way to all the witness something of that magnitude
 It's not empathy
 it's not sympathy
 It's more of a force intrinsic and integral self reflection
 Why would someone do such a thing?
 What could drive someone to that type of depth?
 Could I be driven to such depths?
 Would I ever be able to jump?
 There is no place to be soft in these moments, jump
 There's no time to caught in this moment, jump
 There's no need to believe there ever was a moment, jump
 Sigh, believe, relief in this moment
 'Cause I could never be the one to be in this moment
 Or could I? Jump
 Today I looked up how long it would take to drown
 Do you first hold your breath?
 Do you exhale all of your problems and worries
 Before casting your thoughts to the bottom
 Of an otherwise empty place below the poverty line of depressed thoughts
 And the sad calamity of a hunted house you've called home?
 I don't know
 Maybe someone out there has an answer
 But for now I'm still trying to come to terms of the fact
 That today I looked up how long it would take to drown