Frozen Lullaby

"Mommy, where do babies come from?"
 "It's pretty simple actually."
 When a man doesn't love a women very, very much
 He signs away his paternal rights and jizzes in a cup
 Then with lots of money and scientific genius
 Hormones, pain and of course, um
 Jesus
 The process begins the way God intended
 With a transvaginal ultrasound
 With a wand longer than a ukelele
 When it comes out of my body it makes this sound
 I give myself daily interdermal injections
 An acute blood thinner and estrogen concurence
 Require presevation through hormonal activation
 And none of it's covered by insurance
 Then I'm knocked out
 And you're removed
 And combined with a stranger's cum
 And as the saying goes: "You win some...
 "You lose some." ("You dispose of the defective ones in a hazardous wastebin.")
 And then you're frozen until I'm certain
 It's time to unthaw you into a person
 Then you'll expire or you'll make the grade
 And that, my darling
 That's how babies are made
 (It's so easy)
 (And natural)
 Hush little egg baby, don't say a word
 Mama's gonna freeze you 'till she gets rich
 And when that day finally arrives
 You'll be constructed in a petri dish
 With sperm donor "8W6-3"
 The silent partner of our family
 So hush little egg baby, don't be sad
 Just because I never fucked your dad
 I know there are orphans everywhere
 But I'm going to pretend that isn't real
 Don't look at me like that just 'cause I admit it
 You had kids and you knew the deal
 Yeah, I feel guilty about overpopulation
 And ruining the environment for forever
 But Osama Bin Ladin had twenty kids so
 Fuck you, or whatever
 Sadly procreation is not a meritoracy
 And we need to prevent a real life idiocracy
 Though it may be the ultimate form of narcissm
 It's also a way to re-reverse reverse Darwinism
 I want all this stuff
 I don't need to make a bucketlist
 It doesn't make me greedy
 It just makes me a feminist
 Now I'm thinking back through all the guys I've dated
 If they heard this song they'd fucking hate it
 (It's so easy)
 (And natural)
 Hush little egg baby, don't you cry
 You'll have the best genes mommy can buy
 I don't want to wait 'till I get in dire straights
 My friends say if I want kids, I should go out on some dates
 But these working bitches don't have time to leave it to the fates
 The world deserves more Rikis
 And the world deserves more Kates
 So hush little egg baby, dads are overrated
 He did what mattered when he masturbated
 Hush, little egg baby, just hold firm
 Mama's gonna buy you designer sperm
 And if that sperm gives you random traits
 Mama's gonna test your DNA
 And if your DNA doesn't make things clear
 Mama's gonna just have to live in fear
 And If that fear turns into guilt
 Mama's gonna hold onto what we built
 And if I hold too tight as I suffocate
 I'll buy you lots of things to overcompensate
 And if that overcompensation's too transparent
 I'll pretend it's somehow better with no male parent
 And if you say, "But mom, who's my dad?"
 I'll say "I don't know, and it's just too bad."
 And if that badness forms a hole in your heart
 I'll wanna make it up but won't know where to start
 I'll probably start by saying "It's just you and me, and there's no such thing as a normal family
 "So fuck being normal, lets do this shit"
 Mama's gonna freeze you 'till she gets rich